The Weirdest Job In The World
by Willocwen
Summary: Angel contemplates being the CEO of Wolfram and Hart. His clients are very short and Harmony is, well, Harmony. Bemusement ensues.


This was unusual. Beyond unusual. And Angel had seen some unusual things in his time. Demons who reproduced by splitting in half. Witches with eyes on their palms and their lips sewn shut. A corpse half-eaten by an enchanted book. A Cher concert.

But never had he been in a meeting with a bunch of eight-year-olds.

There were a total of ten of them, six boys and four girls, in suits and dresses, hair brushed and looking at Angel expectantly, little hands clasped on the table, sitting in chairs that made them look smaller. Files were open, pens placed, coffee steaming. A meeting, just like any other meeting. Except, with kids not old enough to shave.

Angel cleared his throat, and frowned down at the paper in front of him. What were they again? Kind of hard to stay focused when you feel like you're a teacher, or should be handing out chocolate, or something. Not getting Harmony to set out coffee.

Of course, they weren't actually kids. They were a nest of demons that looked like kids. All blonde, all pale eyed, and… perfect little dolls, really. You wanted to pinch their cheeks, until they smiled, then you saw their teeth - little sharp needle-like teeth. But that was the only difference. Couldn't they have, like, tails or something? It'd make it less disturbing.

"Mr. Angel," one said before Angel could speak up. It was the smallest child of them all, but apparently, the leader. His eyes shined silver and were too sharp and knowing for a child. His voice was cutting and precise, too mature. "Dealings with this firm have become less and less reliable for us. We were assigned a solicitor, who, altogether, was out of his depth with what we needed. Once he was exterminated, regular dealings with this firm have become…" He glanced towards the rest of the nest, who were all watching Angel, nine pairs of silvery eyes, bright but without a trace of innocence. "…brittle, to say the least. We have put a lot of money in this branch, Mr. Angel. We have considered such options as turning to the division in Seattle, but our home is here and that is our preference."

Whoa. Way too eerie. This little guy should be eating cookies and pushing girls over in the playground, not lecturing about a law firm's services. Angel cleared his throat again. "Understood. I have the case here in front of me, but if you would like to give your side of the story I would be happy to-"

A little girl at the end of the table spoke up this time in a voice beyond her years. "We have had to give our side of this story many times, Mr. Angel," she said briskly. "It's already written and immortalised in your records. We would like very much for this meeting to be efficient, and for us to be satisfied with it's outcome."

"Understood," Angel said meekly. He really had to stop using that word. "And this case will be taken to trial again?"

"Indeed," they said, all as one, in perfect, flawless unison. A shiver went down Angel's spine, and before he could react, the door to his office opened, and Harmony tentatively peered in, smiling at the nest of demons before looking at Angel.

"We have enough coffee, Harmony."

"No, um, Gunn said to get you, that it was urgent."

Blinking, Angel glanced at the leader of the nest, who shook his head slightly and closed the folder in front of him. "We have no time for waiting, and it seems you are in demand," the 3'6" demon said. "We have another meeting on Tuesday, I believe, and we'll continue our business then."

Angel stood as the demons started putting their things away. "Oh, okay, um," he started, but they were already moving out. Efficient little blonde troopers, weren't they? Wesley had told Angel about that - they never stopped for conversation, were never idle, and never wasted time. "See you Tuesday," he responded weakly as the last one left the office, passed a grinning Harmony.

Angel sighed, leant back into his chair. God, was this a weird job.

fin 


End file.
